A Walk
I walk with you in the wood at night and pray
We walked and walked and talked no end in sight
The longer we went the darker became the night
These words we said in stride could not be stray
I ask if I can hold your hand and stay
The moon is high above and shines so bright
These moments are the ones that I must write
I ask that we may always live today
We take the path that is in front of me
We go to places with our hands held warm
What heights this wondrous love can reach is high
The rising sun now peaks through misty tree
Though cloudless day awaits my love’s a storm
I leave you on your porch, and walk on by
I chose to use a Petrarchan sonnet, which has 14 lines and a rhyme scheme of abbaabacdecde. I chose to use a Petrarchan because I felt that it would give me more of a challenge, and this would help me to understand sonnet form better. Following the rhyme form provided some fun. Finding words that rhymed and fit was challenging, but well worth the effort. The hardest part was sticking to Iambic Pentameter. I found that the form wasn't as limiting as I originally anticipated. In fact, it provided a backbone from which I could build. Revising gave me a chance to actually get the iambic pentameter.
Great job at revising to incorporate the iambic pentameter. By George, I think you've got it!
ReplyDeleteI think you definitely have the meter down pat, and I really respect that you used Pertrarchan form! I tried, but I just couldn't get going, so I used the Shakespearian form instead.
ReplyDeleteI love how closely you rhymed your words with one another; I had to look back once or twice to check that you weren't rhyming the same words twice. But this is a neat effect because it makes the poem slowly, imperceptibly morph into something new as you read down it.
ReplyDeleteWow! I kind of wish I had done a petrarchan as well! You and Sam made it look so easy! In yours I feel like the speaking sounds from the old days (you know, not typical english or way of wording) and yet it flows and is easy to read. Excellent :)
ReplyDeleteI love the images and story you have captured in your poem without making it feel cliched. It's sometimes hard to have a solid story when there are constraints with meter, rhyme, form etc. but you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteI enjoy the rhyme scheme of your sonnet and the fluidity it gives to the poem as a whole. Did you mean to have no punctuation in your poem? I think its interesting that you chose not to have any punctuation because it forces the reader to reed quickly increasing the smoothness of the end rhyme.
ReplyDelete